If you follow the Kardashians (don’t judge me), then you know that Khloe Kardashian is constantly blaming the media for her body image issues. Judging from a recent episode of Khloe & Lamar, the media is not to blame — her mother is. Kris Jenner told Khloe that she’s ruining their QuickTrim brand by being fat. First, if my mother said that to me I’d kill her. Second, I’ve actually seen Khloe Kardashian in person and I was seriously confused. The girl is skinny. In fact, I’m pretty sure she’s skinnier than the very curvy Kim Kardashian. It’s time for her to stop blaming the media for all her image issues and start blaming her family. Further Reading: Kris Jenner Cheated on Robert Kardashian — Let the Book Sales Begin!
Category: General
Jesse James to Write Tell-All — Sandra Bullock Furious?
Jesse James is set to write a tell-all book, and rumors are circulating that Sandra Bullock is furious. When word first broke of Jesse James’ affair, I was floored, and I thought he’d immediately start the career-cleanup process. He remained under the radar throughout his entire Sandra Bullock relationship, and it wasn’t until he appeared on Celebrity Apprentice that I thought he might be fame-hungry. Judging from how he’s handled their split, and what he’s done since, I’m guessing he’d rather torch his public image than save it. After all, if everyone’s staring at you, why not put on a show for them? This memoir is just another reason to hate him. If he writes about his marriage to Sandra, then he’s capitalizing on her fame, and if he doesn’t — the book disingenuous and pointless.
Mel Gibson Finally Speaks — Still Doesn’t Get it
I really want to forgive Mel Gibson. I promise I do. I’m Jewish, and his original, bigoted mess offended me, but I believe in second chances. I’m even willing to go see his movies again on one condition. He has to be genuinely contrite, and he has to have learned his lesson. Judging by his recent exclusive interview with Deadline Hollywood, he isn’t and he hasn’t. I can tell he’s in a lot of personal pain from the interview, but I can also tell that he’s still not ready to accept full responsibility. To be fair, when asked if he feels regret over the tapes, he responded with “of course,” but he also said that he’s “never treated anyone badly or in a discriminatory way based on their gender, race, religion or sexuality — period” and that the tapes were “edited.” He said that he was in the “height of a breakdown,” and what he said “doesn’t represent what [he] truly believes, or how [he’s] treated people his entire life.” I have trouble making sense of his point, especially since using bigoted language is unacceptable, at the height of a breakdown or not. The breakdown explains it, but it doesn’t justify it. Gibson seems to continuously argue that his actions and words are different, instead of just outright admitting that his words were reprehensible. He needs to just say, “what I said was horrific, and I’m working on myself to figure out where that hatred came from.” My last piece of advice for Mel Gibson is to sit down with Barbara Walters. She’s the master of career clean-up, because she asks the right questions and withholds judgment. It’s a really bad idea to do an interview for a website, which requires a lot of reading, and where you’re unable to be seen on camera looking genuine. Gibson is a charismatic guy, and if I’m wrong and he’s truly contrite, that will be clear on camera. Lastly, this interview was way too damn long. My brain started to hurt toward the end, especially since almost half of it was about his new film, The Beaver. He shouldn’t clean up his image while promoting a movie. Image-cleanup needs to appear agenda-less.
Music Spotlight On: Vampire Weekend
I recently discovered Vampire Weekend, but I’m told by musician friends that “they’re huge.” After looking them up, I seem to be the only person that didn’t get the memo. Their debut self-titled album reached #17 on the Billboard 200, and their song, A-Punk, was voted the fourth best song of 2008 by Rolling Stone magazine. Their second album, Contra, reached #1 on the Billboard 200. The indie rock band formed in 2006, and its members include: Ezra Koenig; Rostam Batmanglij; Chris Thomson; and Chris Baio. Perhaps I like them so much because the lead singer, Ezra Koenig sounds strikingly similar to Paul Simon. I told this to my musician friend, insisting that my discovery means I have a “musical ear.” He shook his head in disapproval saying, “it’s pretty obvious they sound alike.” Listen to White Sky and Holiday from their second album, Contra, below.
Should Jennifer Lopez Leave American Idol?
Rumors are circulating that Jennifer Lopez will leave American Idol at this season’s end, and it’s a great idea. As soon as X-Factor premieres American Idol is done, and JLO is way too business savvy to stay with a sinking ship. She jumped on board a cash-cow at the exact right moment, and I’m certain she’ll flee the ship right before it sinks. The only issue is that she’s likely to leave American Idol for another reality show, which will certainly irreparably damage her brand. Reality television is where stars go to die, and Simon Cowell’s brain-children are the only exception. Either leave American Idol for X-Factor, or return to the movie business.
Real Housewives Jill Zarin Promotes a Liquid “Face-Lift” — Brain-Lift Too?
I’ve spoken out against plastic surgery in Hollywood numerous times, but Jill Zarin’s recent admission of a “liquid face-lift” has infuriated me to the point of commenting again. First, I won’t directly insult her new face, but I am fundamentally against removing wrinkles, which in turn removes all character in one’s face. Basically, it looks bizarre. Perhaps I’ll feel differently in a decade, but having a completely pulled back look with no forehead-wrinkles reminds me of a zombie. It’s not hot, and it needs to stop. It’s also disturbing how Wendy Williams tells Zarin that she’s taken “eight years off her face,” and the audience claps. What exactly are they clapping for? Are they encouraging women everywhere to look like porcelain dolls?
Foo Fighters Album is #1 — Congratulations, Dave Grohl
Anyone who knows me is aware that I’m secretly in love with Dave Grohl. This isn’t because I’m some insane Foo Fighters or Nirvana fan, it’s simply because I’ve read a lot of Grohl interviews and listened to him on Howard Stern. I think the guy is brilliant. He’s openly discussed the pain he felt after Kurt Cobain’s death and he’s navigated the Courtney Love disaster with an incredible amount of class. Also — he’s a rock star who doesn’t do drugs. That means if my fantasy were fulfilled, I’d get the sexy man with none of the baggage. So I’d like to take the opportunity to extend a major congratulations to the Foo Fighters for their album hitting number one. It’s their first number one album of their career, and they even knocked Adele off her slot. These guys deserve it.
Glee’s Heather Morris Shows Off Hot Dance Moves for Esquire Magazine
If you watch Glee, then you know about Heather Morris. She was hired by Ryan Murphy to teach the cast the choreography for Beyonce’s Single Ladies video, and Murphy was so impressed by her, he hired her as a series regular for the show. If you watch closely during Glee’s dance routines, you’ll notice how Heather Morris outshines the rest of the cast, which was certainly most clear during the Britney tribute week. In the video below, Heather Morris rocks out to some different songs, and her body is hypnotizing. I realize the hypocrisy of this post, given that I often insult the Glee kids for inappropriately sexualizing their images. I’ve made an exception for Heather Morris though. When you’re that good, general rules don’t apply.
Audrina Patridge’s New Show — A Poor Man’s Version of ‘The Hills’
Judging from the clip below, Audrina’s new show looks like another peak into the boring lives of depth-less television stars. My patience for reality television is seriously waning (with the exception of Jersey Shore, of course). In the video below, Audrina’s mother apologizes for her drunken rant on Dancing With the Stars, and Audrina completely blows it off and says she doesn’t care what other people think. I’m no expert on alcohol so I might be wrong on this, but her mother looks drunk in the clip, which is ironic because she’s apologizing for her drunken behavior. Am I to seriously believe that Audrina is completely fine with her mother’s actions, and they’re one big happy family? All signs point to no, and unless they plan on taping some kind of intervention for what appears to be alcoholism, I don’t believe a second of that video. Again, I have absolutely no idea if her mother has a drinking problem, but I’m almost certain that this is faux reality hogwash.
Amber Riley Sings Adele’s Someone Like You on her Webcam — Bad Move?
I’ve said this many times on The Dishmaster before, but once you’re on a hit show like Glee, you have to not only create a celebrity mystique, but you must also watch your brand, to ensure that your personal life doesn’t conflict with your character. That brings me to Amber Riley, who covered Adele’s Someone Like You on her webcam. Though I think she has a great voice, I’m fundamentally against this on principle. You’re on an expensive network television show, and your broadcasting a song on your personal webcam inside your apartment. It looks unprofessional and cheap — and you have an image to maintain.