I’ve never in my entire life watched a one-hour show and thought, “you know what would be really great — if this show was two hours long.” In fact, I often find myself infuriated when I’m forced to fast-forward through a large portion of Celebrity Apprentice, presumably because the producers think the show is so fantastic that they refuse to edit out the extraneous material. ‘The Voice’ is hopping on board the piss-off-The-Dishmaster train, by expanding their one hour show to two hours. I imagine that since the ratings are great, they want to use the show for all its worth, thereby maximizing their ad revenue. Here’s the problem — adding an hour fatigues the viewers and inevitably sacrifices the quality of the show. When you get greedy, you lose your cash-cow.
Tag: The View
Why Didn’t Katie Couric Announce Her CBS Retirement on CBS?
If there’s a public interest in losing your job, you might as well cash in on it, right? When Barbara Walters asked Katie Couric if she was leaving CBS during her appearance on The View, Couric squirmed. At the time, I knew why. She didn’t want to give The View a huge amount of press with nothing in return. Why not make some money on your job loss? Couric chose People Magazine for her big announcement, and I imagine they paid her a pretty penny for the revelation. If there truly wasn’t bad blood between Couric and CBS, she might have gladly given CBS the free publicity.
Star Jones on Joy Behar — No More Bad Blood?
Star Jones appeared on Joy Behar’s HLN show to promote her new book, Satan’s Sisters, and I was shocked to discover that she appeared agreeable and friendly. I’ve been picking on Star Jones a lot lately, mostly due to her poor behavior on Donald Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice. I was also shocked to discover that this interview took place at all. Star left The View in a very dramatic fashion, disclosing to the press that she was “fired” and announcing her departure before the producers had originally planned. Translation? — She pissed everyone off. Since then, she’s apparently become PR savvy, because everyone knows if you want to clear your image, you return to the scene of the crime. Since she’s likely banned from The View for eternity, Joy Behar’s show is the next best step. Watch the interview below.
Celebrity Apprentice Debuts — Star Jones v. Everyone?
It always shocks me when celebrities appear on reality shows and openly broadcast their bad behavior. In the case of Star Jones, it’s especially surprising. First, Jones has some major career cleanup to do after being fired from The View and subsequently bad-mouthing the staff. You would think she’d make a considerable effort to appear agreeable — even if she has to lie to do so. If you watched the most recent episode of The Apprentice, then you know that Star Jones and Dionne Warwick were exceptionally disagreeable. The challenge was to draft a children’s book, and both Star and Dionne insisted that they receive writing credit on the book apart from the team’s general credit. If you’re familiar with entertainment contracts, then you know that credit is a big deal in the industry, so it’s understandable that both Star and Dionne would be knowledgeable of receiving separate credit. That being said, this is faux task on Celebrity Apprentice and not a legitimate book deal for a major studio. Their immaturity was ridiculous, as was their condescending conversations with team leader, Lisa Rinna. That brings me to my favorite line of the episode, which came from Lisa Rinna when she said, “those bitches are not going to take me down.”
The View Ladies Ask Denise Richards Inappropriate Questions About Charlie Sheen
I have to give Denise Richards a lot of credit. She sure knows how to stay classy amidst Charlie Sheen’s recent troubles. If I remember correctly, Denise Richards fired her last publicist after she mishandled the media fire-storm surrounding Denise’s relationship with Heather Locklear’s ex-husband, Richie Sambora. Since then, she’s done a complete turn-around in the press, even appearing on Howard Stern to clear the air. She proved on The View today that she can certainly handle an interrogation. The ladies wanted her to discuss Sheen, and she refused. Every answer she gave was creatively evasive, and at one point she even said, “there’s plenty of books out there for children going through the same thing.” When they asked her to recommend a book, she refused, obviously because any title would disclose precisely what she was trying to avoid discussing. In response to Barbara Walters’ question about “what she says to her children, Denise simply said, “what do you say?” Good job, Denise. It was four-on-one, and you took those yentas down!
Tune In For Chris Cuomo’s 20/20 Special on Troubled Youths
Chris Cuomo appeared on The View today to promote his 20/20 special, and he was beyond impressive. He’s officially the only man that can sit on the panel without interruption for five minutes straight. If you’re a fan of The View, you’d also be in awe of this skill, considering those five yentas can’t go one minute without getting a word in. I decided to tweet him my praise today, and he tweeted back a very kind thank you. My loyal Dishmaster readers know that I like to play favorites, and Chris Cuomo is now on my favorite person list. Having said that, I’d like to encourage all of my readers to watch his special this Friday at 10 p.m. I’ve attached a clip of him discussing the special, and it looks great. I’ve also attached a clip of his appearance on The View, so you can see for yourself what a word-ninja looks like in action.
Golden Globes Recap: Angelina Jolie Refuses to Laugh
There are two certainties in life: 1) Ricky Gervais is damn funny, and 2) Angelina Jolie has no sense of humor. I really want to like her, and I promise I’ve made a serious effort to change my opinion over the years. But when the cameras cut to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, and only Pitt is laughing, I can’t help but wonder what Angelina’s problem is. The only explanation is that Gervais ragged on her film, The Tourist, but that certainly doesn’t explain why her costar, Johnny Depp, was also seen laughing. Is Depp just a better sport? Here’s my advice to the actors that get made fun of — if you don’t think it’s funny, then use your acting skills to laugh anyways, otherwise the viewing public just sees you as a humorless curmudgeon.
UPDATE: Angelina Jolie can laugh after all. Click here
Christina Hendricks Posed For Playboy — She Wasn’t Naked — No Scandal
There’s a lot of buzz on the internet about Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks’ “Playboy past.” Can I just say that unless she’s naked, there’s no scandal. She’s in a bikini in a highly air-brushed and artistic photo-shoot, which is less revealing than if she was photographed by Paparazzi on the beach. I’d also like to say that, despite the viewpoint of my highly conservative friends, Playboy is not a scandalous magazine. There’s no longer a need to hide it under your couch cushions, and it’s certainly okay to take it to Starbucks and read it for the articles. Isn’t it? Perhaps that’s why I get such strange looks while I’m drinking my coffee. To see the “scandalous” pictures, click the link below.
CHRISTINA HENDRICKS — PLAYBOY — THE SMOKING JACKET
Sherri Shepherd Sends Jesus Cards to Jews
I’ve heard Sherri Shepherd mention this before, and it’s so annoying I’m surprised I didn’t post about it the first time around. When discussing what cards to send to friends during holiday season, Shepherd says she consistently sends Christmas cards that mention Jesus because “that’s what she believes in.” When Behar asked if she sends those cards to her Jewish friends, Shepherd said yes, followed by the same ridiculous explanation. First of all, may I just say that I find it absolutely infuriating when I’m given Christmas cards? You guessed it — I’m a Jew. I don’t believe in Jesus, and I don’t want your Jesus card! Second, it’s incredibly selfish to use your own holiday as a barometer for what card to send out. Allow me to use an analogy for Sherri Shepherd. Should I give my friend who is allergic to chocolate a big box of chocolates for the holidays? After all, that’s what I eat! And if I eat chocolate, then she should too, right?
Is ‘The View’s’ Product Placement Working?
No one is a bigger fan of The View than The Dishmaster, but Sherri Shepherd’s commercials during the show must stop. I understand that the network has to make money, and this seems like a creative way to do it, but it simply doesn’t work. First, it’s not technically “product placement.” Product placement occurs when someone within a television show uses a product, and the audience notices it without even thinking it’s a commercial. It’s akin to your mother sneaking carrots in your brownies. Second, because it’s completely obvious when Sherri begins to endorse the product, I simply fast forward through it, as if it’s a regular commercial. See the problem? This ridiculous idea started when Rosie was on The View, and they tried to continue it after she left. The difference is that when Rosie gave gifts to the audience she made it seem as if she really used the product and spent her own personal funds to gift the audience with something she genuinely thought they might like. She wasn’t simply pimping out products because she was paid to do so.